Alrighty, the DEBT BEAT DOWN is back, and its taken a few hits over the past year in our favor!!! Its been since January of 2010 that I've revisited this sector of our lives, and I'm telling you without holding back that its difficult! The "emergency fund" is still in the making if that gives you any idea of how life can throw some interesting blows at you. We have been able to take a significant chunk out of the debt, and obviously, school loans are still the front runner in our financial hole that we have been digging out of, and when I say hole, its not that its bad, its just what we've had to do to make life work!
So, to get to the dirt in our finances, here we go! Since our last update, we've actually been able to cut nearly all of our debt down to school loans...which is unreal! Its still the heaviest financial burden we carry, but we have been able to pay off 3 medical bills, in the next month or so we will probably be able to pay off Sara's car, and my car, well, its somewhere on the East Coast I assume being enjoyed by someone other than me! I purchased a "PROJECT" and we'll leave it at that! So, out of the 7 bills that we had at the start, we have consolidated all of my school loans into one loan...(look into it if you have major school loan debt, it can save you HUGE, call me)...and outside of that, we have the credit card still but its being used as an emergency fund for the time being and we are using it to pay bills, in turn saving money on our insurance(another cool thing to look into). So by the end of August, our debt will be down to less than 17,000 which is almost half of what we started with on this journey just under 2 years ago!
We are now back in Arkansas, we've moved 3 times, live in the wonderful town of Siloam Springs, AR, and I'm going back to school at JBU for my Grad. in Counseling this fall....YEA...MORE SCHOOL LOANS(this has been looked into very deeply, trust me)!!! Oh by the way, did I mention we have an Emery now? Our little boy is going to get to reap the benefits of our struggles to get out of debt over the past couple years! By the way, HE'S AWESOME!!!
Post any comments you may have or questions, we have resources, experiences, frustrations, etc... we are willing to share if you need help or are just needing a sounding board to see what you need to do about your finances!!!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Baby Doll vs. Action Figure
Something happened the other day that I really can't go any longer without sharing. I really have two reasons for sharing...1 is that most will find this either amusing or ridiculous, and 2 some will find this interesting and may lead to changing the way you look at your child. Now in Sara's defense, she was completely innocent in all of this, I was the one that saw the issue and most mothers will think its crazy, but as a DUDE I can tell you that this was a reaction that I had for the sake of my son, and it is one that I will continue to have until he can stand for himself!!!
We were hanging out in the Garden doing some yard work and Sara was holding Emery (our Son) while she was picking weeds or something when I hear him start to get a bit fussy. She then begins to try and sooth him and this is what she says; "Its ok my baby doll." Now, let me explain that most guys will tell you that they never want to be called a baby doll! But considering my son is only 3 weeks old most women would consider this to be a sweet conversation between her and her son, but to me, it was a shot at his manhood and as a Father I had to step in. My response was this; "If you're going to call him something like that you better call him an action figure!" I know, its a bit ridiculous, but I'm telling you that came out of me without even thinking!!! My heart jumped out of my chest when I heard it and although it sounds crazy, the "masculine soul" within me screamed for Emery. If you want to read something that is absolutely amazing in context to what I'm talking about, check out the books Wild at Heart, and Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge. They take you through the heart of a man and the masculine journey of a boy to manhood. If you have a daughter, I'd suggest his book Captivating!
The heart I have for my son is connected deeply to the heart that Sara has for Emery as well, but our natural reactions and the ways we see him in our hearts can be extremely different. This was just the moment when her view of him as her preciously little boy(Baby Doll) and my view of him as my strong little man(Action Figure) came to odds. We laugh about it constantly, but I will tell you that we will make a point of making sure that Emery grows up knowing that he is strong, he's a boy who will some day become a man, and will give him every opportunity and encouragement in his masculine journey!
We were hanging out in the Garden doing some yard work and Sara was holding Emery (our Son) while she was picking weeds or something when I hear him start to get a bit fussy. She then begins to try and sooth him and this is what she says; "Its ok my baby doll." Now, let me explain that most guys will tell you that they never want to be called a baby doll! But considering my son is only 3 weeks old most women would consider this to be a sweet conversation between her and her son, but to me, it was a shot at his manhood and as a Father I had to step in. My response was this; "If you're going to call him something like that you better call him an action figure!" I know, its a bit ridiculous, but I'm telling you that came out of me without even thinking!!! My heart jumped out of my chest when I heard it and although it sounds crazy, the "masculine soul" within me screamed for Emery. If you want to read something that is absolutely amazing in context to what I'm talking about, check out the books Wild at Heart, and Way of the Wild Heart by John Eldredge. They take you through the heart of a man and the masculine journey of a boy to manhood. If you have a daughter, I'd suggest his book Captivating!
The heart I have for my son is connected deeply to the heart that Sara has for Emery as well, but our natural reactions and the ways we see him in our hearts can be extremely different. This was just the moment when her view of him as her preciously little boy(Baby Doll) and my view of him as my strong little man(Action Figure) came to odds. We laugh about it constantly, but I will tell you that we will make a point of making sure that Emery grows up knowing that he is strong, he's a boy who will some day become a man, and will give him every opportunity and encouragement in his masculine journey!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Really?
Well, from the title you can see that I'm starting this off with confusion, but trust me, I'm not confused...but you may be after you read this! So...let me begin without going on any rants.
I'll start by posing the question of; "What do you do when you are moving up in management, you're being told that you may be able to basically have your own business within the next several months, you're being trained by some of the most successful leaders in the company, they love you and you're pretty good at what you do, PLUS you just had your first son?" Well, in my case you walk away from it all graciously...and I can't emphasis GRACIOUSLY enough! Right around 9 months ago I was offered a job that I really didn't know what I was getting into. Since that time, I've been promoted, developed, trained, and basically guaranteed that if I stuck with it for the next couple years, I'd be making more money in retail than I ever thought possible, and that's no exaggeration...I can show you the details if you want! It's crazy, right? Who does that...well, I was called to. God opened up the opportunity for me to go back to school this upcoming fall and since making that decision, my heart has completely been occupied with what God is trying to do through me rather than what this world has to offer me.
When I sat down with my boss to discuss things, through no lack of trying on his part, I still had to walk away. I have more respect for the Buckle and the people that work there and run that company than you can imagine. As I told him, I will forever be a recruiter for that company! God has something big in store for Sara and I...and now Emery, can't forget him, and I can't really explain it very well right now, but I do know that in the next couple years it will involve getting my Grad degree in counseling, working/living in Siloam Springs, and investing our time in the people around us and in the church! God's got some sort of vision stirring in my heart and its just now starting to take some sort of form, but when, where, how, who with...I'm assuming will all be revealed to me here in the immediate future! So, as I step out of one job this weekend and into another, anticipating the start of school this fall and working on being the best Husband/Father I can be, please be in prayer for us, and I don't mean in prayer so that we will be well, successful, happy...the prayer I'm requesting is one that is quite simple. My prayer is asking God to direct me...and for ME TO LISTEN...so that I can:
1. Lead my wife
2. Lead my son
3. Discern God's plan for our family and the vision He has for our ministry
So, that seems pretty "cookie-cutter," but honestly I'm seeking vision right now...which all plays into my reasoning for leaving a job that in a worldly perspective is perfect, going back to school, and investing in my family more! Love you all who read this and we pray daily for you to seek God in your life to the fullest! We're not supposed to be ashamed of the gospel, so lets live it!
I'll start by posing the question of; "What do you do when you are moving up in management, you're being told that you may be able to basically have your own business within the next several months, you're being trained by some of the most successful leaders in the company, they love you and you're pretty good at what you do, PLUS you just had your first son?" Well, in my case you walk away from it all graciously...and I can't emphasis GRACIOUSLY enough! Right around 9 months ago I was offered a job that I really didn't know what I was getting into. Since that time, I've been promoted, developed, trained, and basically guaranteed that if I stuck with it for the next couple years, I'd be making more money in retail than I ever thought possible, and that's no exaggeration...I can show you the details if you want! It's crazy, right? Who does that...well, I was called to. God opened up the opportunity for me to go back to school this upcoming fall and since making that decision, my heart has completely been occupied with what God is trying to do through me rather than what this world has to offer me.
When I sat down with my boss to discuss things, through no lack of trying on his part, I still had to walk away. I have more respect for the Buckle and the people that work there and run that company than you can imagine. As I told him, I will forever be a recruiter for that company! God has something big in store for Sara and I...and now Emery, can't forget him, and I can't really explain it very well right now, but I do know that in the next couple years it will involve getting my Grad degree in counseling, working/living in Siloam Springs, and investing our time in the people around us and in the church! God's got some sort of vision stirring in my heart and its just now starting to take some sort of form, but when, where, how, who with...I'm assuming will all be revealed to me here in the immediate future! So, as I step out of one job this weekend and into another, anticipating the start of school this fall and working on being the best Husband/Father I can be, please be in prayer for us, and I don't mean in prayer so that we will be well, successful, happy...the prayer I'm requesting is one that is quite simple. My prayer is asking God to direct me...and for ME TO LISTEN...so that I can:
1. Lead my wife
2. Lead my son
3. Discern God's plan for our family and the vision He has for our ministry
So, that seems pretty "cookie-cutter," but honestly I'm seeking vision right now...which all plays into my reasoning for leaving a job that in a worldly perspective is perfect, going back to school, and investing in my family more! Love you all who read this and we pray daily for you to seek God in your life to the fullest! We're not supposed to be ashamed of the gospel, so lets live it!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I'm a Dad! Here we go...
Well, if you live under a rock and don't have any connection to the outside world then you are just finding out that Sara and I just had our 1st little boy, Emery Luke Ross, on June 11th, 2011. He weighed in at a whopping 7 lbs 15 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. I do have to say that if you were to stretch his feet out he'd probably be more like 23-24 inches long, the boy has ski's with monkey toes!!! Definitely gets that from me! Check out my or Sara's FB for some pics.
I can't honestly express the range of emotions that have been running through Sara and I over the past week. The feeling of holding my son for the first time was unexplainable...maybe even the entire experience, so I'll save you the babbling attempt at trying! I can say that as a father, husband, and as a guy in general, I've never felt as weak as I have the past several days. I hold Sara and now Emery and I feel like I could life the house if I had to, but when they are in pain and you can't do anything to help, it will eat at you from the inside out. I would have done anything, but there is nothing I can do...other than PRAY...so that's what I did. I didn't want God to fix it, I wanted God to use it, to strengthen us, to be an example to others. I prayed that Sara and Emery would know that I am there no matter what, that I'm not going anywhere and that as soon as there is something that I can do to help, guess who is going to step up, step in, and come to the rescue...ME!!! I want them to have a faith in me as strong as my faith in God, and that their faith in God would far surpass their faith in me...if only I can be an example, and be there for them when they need me, then I'm exactly where God wants me to be!!!
I will tell you that I haven't felt more grateful and more in love with my wife ever. The number one priority for us right now is keeping God the focus of our relationship, and then jointly focusing on taking care of Emery. We have been blessed in more ways than you can imagine...everything from friends bringing us meals, to family taking care of him so that we can focus on us with coffee dates and not to mention an anniversary lunch yesterday! I love my wife with everything I have, and though I may fail some, I will do everything in my power to be a Christ follower 1st, a husband 2nd, and a father 3rd. Those are my priorities and they are NOT changing, everything else in life will just have to fit around those three!
Sara and I have spent a lot of time here lately talking to one another about whats next. For one, I'm planning on going back to school this fall to get my Masters in Counseling-Marriage and Family Therapy. Second, we've decided to take another step forward with our faith in our finances...can I say upping the bar! We feel like God is preparing us for something, but not really sure what that may be, but outside of just having Emery, our life is about to get even more interesting here in the next year. Who in their right mind goes back to school, lives off of one income, and has a newborn all in the same year??? ME...and I'm telling you that God is in control and I know that is where we are supposed to be.
The overwhelming responsibility that I've been given makes me sit back and really question what God has for us here soon. To think I'm having a child and say its all good compared a month ago to holding him, or holding Sara who is holding Emery and seeing it, feeling it first hand, praying for them together as we go to bed, is almost enough weight to feel like you can't move. All in all, I'm confident in knowing that God is the one setting all of this in motion, His plans for us are perfect, and there will be nothing greater than our life together following hard after Him. We're most likely going to be in Siloam Springs for the next several years and I have no clue what that may hold other than getting my Masters, but I do know that things are about to get interesting up in this place, and if you want in, call me, throw me a message, or just come by because I'd love to get a better idea of who is all in for seeing God do amazing things in and around Siloam. We're looking for a community of people to live life with...and we're not about to try and have the community on our own...one son is about all we can handle right now and I don't know if Sara would be up for that any time soon!!! I don't know what comes of this, but God does, and its about time for me to step out and start trying to figure this out a bit more! Love you guys...and THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for the words of encouragement, messages, food, etc...that you have been blessing us with. We can't say it enough!
I can't honestly express the range of emotions that have been running through Sara and I over the past week. The feeling of holding my son for the first time was unexplainable...maybe even the entire experience, so I'll save you the babbling attempt at trying! I can say that as a father, husband, and as a guy in general, I've never felt as weak as I have the past several days. I hold Sara and now Emery and I feel like I could life the house if I had to, but when they are in pain and you can't do anything to help, it will eat at you from the inside out. I would have done anything, but there is nothing I can do...other than PRAY...so that's what I did. I didn't want God to fix it, I wanted God to use it, to strengthen us, to be an example to others. I prayed that Sara and Emery would know that I am there no matter what, that I'm not going anywhere and that as soon as there is something that I can do to help, guess who is going to step up, step in, and come to the rescue...ME!!! I want them to have a faith in me as strong as my faith in God, and that their faith in God would far surpass their faith in me...if only I can be an example, and be there for them when they need me, then I'm exactly where God wants me to be!!!
I will tell you that I haven't felt more grateful and more in love with my wife ever. The number one priority for us right now is keeping God the focus of our relationship, and then jointly focusing on taking care of Emery. We have been blessed in more ways than you can imagine...everything from friends bringing us meals, to family taking care of him so that we can focus on us with coffee dates and not to mention an anniversary lunch yesterday! I love my wife with everything I have, and though I may fail some, I will do everything in my power to be a Christ follower 1st, a husband 2nd, and a father 3rd. Those are my priorities and they are NOT changing, everything else in life will just have to fit around those three!
Sara and I have spent a lot of time here lately talking to one another about whats next. For one, I'm planning on going back to school this fall to get my Masters in Counseling-Marriage and Family Therapy. Second, we've decided to take another step forward with our faith in our finances...can I say upping the bar! We feel like God is preparing us for something, but not really sure what that may be, but outside of just having Emery, our life is about to get even more interesting here in the next year. Who in their right mind goes back to school, lives off of one income, and has a newborn all in the same year??? ME...and I'm telling you that God is in control and I know that is where we are supposed to be.
The overwhelming responsibility that I've been given makes me sit back and really question what God has for us here soon. To think I'm having a child and say its all good compared a month ago to holding him, or holding Sara who is holding Emery and seeing it, feeling it first hand, praying for them together as we go to bed, is almost enough weight to feel like you can't move. All in all, I'm confident in knowing that God is the one setting all of this in motion, His plans for us are perfect, and there will be nothing greater than our life together following hard after Him. We're most likely going to be in Siloam Springs for the next several years and I have no clue what that may hold other than getting my Masters, but I do know that things are about to get interesting up in this place, and if you want in, call me, throw me a message, or just come by because I'd love to get a better idea of who is all in for seeing God do amazing things in and around Siloam. We're looking for a community of people to live life with...and we're not about to try and have the community on our own...one son is about all we can handle right now and I don't know if Sara would be up for that any time soon!!! I don't know what comes of this, but God does, and its about time for me to step out and start trying to figure this out a bit more! Love you guys...and THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for the words of encouragement, messages, food, etc...that you have been blessing us with. We can't say it enough!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
This may sting a little for some but its about to Drive me NUTS!!!
Can I get a show of hands of the people that were taught how to "lead people to christ" based on a folded piece of paper that ended up being a cross after unfolding it that is known as a Tract. If you can't see, my hand is raised...but honestly, I've never been a big fan of it from the get go but it does give you somewhere to start I guess. Now please, for those of you that feel like I just slammed my foot down on your toes, give me a second to explain. I do agree that at one point things like that worked for some but to be taught how to "share your faith" based on that was pretty surface level and I've always tried to be a little bit deeper of a thinker than most around me, not to mention analytical about everything!!! And no, I'm not being arrogant because it gets me in trouble a lot because I OVER THINK things and tent to shove my foot down my throat because of it! So here goes what spurred this thought.
I had an experience in the past couple of weeks that has really frustrated me and literally broken my heart and pissed me off all at the same time. For a desired lack of detail, a friend I've been talking with lately shared their beliefs on life and their lack of a belief in God...and trust me, he could probably argue his points with the best of them, but most of his points were based off of the attempts of Christians to "Convert him" as he put it! These attempts were at best the semi-educated attempt of sharing ones faith based on their lack of understanding and "Tract" style of information they had memorized in bible school back when they were in Discipleship Training. To make it simple, he had never been approached through an actual relationship and from an intellectual standpoint. He was given our surface level attempt at salvation which involved an introduction of who they were(no relationship), a statement of what they believed, and then a choice: condemnation or salvation! For an individual that has been through a lot in their life and has made it pretty much on their own in this world, they need a little more of a showing of who God is and what He is about than a "Tract."
Now when I say I'm a little pissed, its not at the fact that people were sharing their faith, but that one, as leaders, their was a failure somewhere to communicate the true passion and life of Christ, and two, we as Christians think that we can save someone on our own based on knowledge that we were given and we've never been pushed to truly understand what and why we believe what we believe (And again, when I say Pissed off, I really mean -has made me Extremely Passionate about, so please don't pick at my choice in words, my wife is the english major, not me!!!). I'm not angry with individuals, I'm not frustrated with God, I'm upset about the fact that we failed at some point to give true understanding to the people that we are leading and discipling as Christ followers. To tell someone that they are going to hell if they don't believe what you believe is extremely simple and not very educated, but it is the truth that we've watered down to make it a bit-sized chunk for people to chew on, but what happens when you are hit back with an intelligent question or comment that is based on experience? There was no fold on that cross that came open that told you how to respond to someone that has been through some struggles in life and as Leader I BEG YOU to evaluate if you are teaching those under you to be able to go off of the Tract and be real with someone. Because trust me, it really throws you for a loop when someone gets off the Tract before you even start unfolding the thing! We have ZERO ability to save someone on our own and I truly believe that it is only through a relationship that you will be able to reach others, not a Tract...I'm not trying to SAVE my friend, I'm trying to be Christ to my friend so he can see what being a "Christian" means so that God can get a hold of him. I'll let scripture speak for itself:
Titus 3:3 Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled by others and became slaves to many wicked desires and evil pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us. 4 But then God our Savior showed us HIS kindness and love. 5 HE saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of HIS mercy. HE washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. 6 HE generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. 7 HE declared us not guilty because of his great kindness. And now we know that we will inherit eternal life.
GOD saves, it says HE over and over, not me, not you, not our pastor, but HE!!! We are called to be Christ to the world, not condemn the world, because that is God's power and his power alone! Psalm 75:7, James 4:12
I'm sorry if this comes across harsh, but seriously, there are people that would go to Hell right now if things were to end today and all they've ever been given is the watered down, bible school version of God in a "Tract!!!" Can we be real, can we be authentic, can we please be effective, and God, PLEASE let us be as close to you as possible so that people don't need a watered down version but they desire to know the WHOLE story of who you are!!!
I had an experience in the past couple of weeks that has really frustrated me and literally broken my heart and pissed me off all at the same time. For a desired lack of detail, a friend I've been talking with lately shared their beliefs on life and their lack of a belief in God...and trust me, he could probably argue his points with the best of them, but most of his points were based off of the attempts of Christians to "Convert him" as he put it! These attempts were at best the semi-educated attempt of sharing ones faith based on their lack of understanding and "Tract" style of information they had memorized in bible school back when they were in Discipleship Training. To make it simple, he had never been approached through an actual relationship and from an intellectual standpoint. He was given our surface level attempt at salvation which involved an introduction of who they were(no relationship), a statement of what they believed, and then a choice: condemnation or salvation! For an individual that has been through a lot in their life and has made it pretty much on their own in this world, they need a little more of a showing of who God is and what He is about than a "Tract."
Now when I say I'm a little pissed, its not at the fact that people were sharing their faith, but that one, as leaders, their was a failure somewhere to communicate the true passion and life of Christ, and two, we as Christians think that we can save someone on our own based on knowledge that we were given and we've never been pushed to truly understand what and why we believe what we believe (And again, when I say Pissed off, I really mean -has made me Extremely Passionate about, so please don't pick at my choice in words, my wife is the english major, not me!!!). I'm not angry with individuals, I'm not frustrated with God, I'm upset about the fact that we failed at some point to give true understanding to the people that we are leading and discipling as Christ followers. To tell someone that they are going to hell if they don't believe what you believe is extremely simple and not very educated, but it is the truth that we've watered down to make it a bit-sized chunk for people to chew on, but what happens when you are hit back with an intelligent question or comment that is based on experience? There was no fold on that cross that came open that told you how to respond to someone that has been through some struggles in life and as Leader I BEG YOU to evaluate if you are teaching those under you to be able to go off of the Tract and be real with someone. Because trust me, it really throws you for a loop when someone gets off the Tract before you even start unfolding the thing! We have ZERO ability to save someone on our own and I truly believe that it is only through a relationship that you will be able to reach others, not a Tract...I'm not trying to SAVE my friend, I'm trying to be Christ to my friend so he can see what being a "Christian" means so that God can get a hold of him. I'll let scripture speak for itself:
Titus 3:3 Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled by others and became slaves to many wicked desires and evil pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us. 4 But then God our Savior showed us HIS kindness and love. 5 HE saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of HIS mercy. HE washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. 6 HE generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. 7 HE declared us not guilty because of his great kindness. And now we know that we will inherit eternal life.
GOD saves, it says HE over and over, not me, not you, not our pastor, but HE!!! We are called to be Christ to the world, not condemn the world, because that is God's power and his power alone! Psalm 75:7, James 4:12
I'm sorry if this comes across harsh, but seriously, there are people that would go to Hell right now if things were to end today and all they've ever been given is the watered down, bible school version of God in a "Tract!!!" Can we be real, can we be authentic, can we please be effective, and God, PLEASE let us be as close to you as possible so that people don't need a watered down version but they desire to know the WHOLE story of who you are!!!
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