Well, once a week all the sudden turned into 2 months ago, and I can honestly say that I can remember sitting down and writing the last blog like it was yesterday. Life has pretty much been a nonstop whirlwind the last two months and that is all thanks to the Holidays. Not that I don't love the holidays, but working in an extremely fast paced retail setting during the holidays will knock anyone out of contact with the real world. Since then, Sara and the baby have grown considerably and we have now heard the heart beat(talk about reality setting in)...we have made the extremely tough decision to find a better home for our little puppy Siqa, which we have done and is absolutely amazing for her(yard with room to run, extremely active owner, and great relationship between us and her new owner so if we really wanted to see her, we could)...and we're looking at buying our own house and new possibilities for churches.
I'm not going to get into other churches right now because my last rant pretty much summed my feelings up, but the one thing that I feel like I am extremely passionate about at this moment is the heart of the church, and MY HEART for that matter. My heart burns for change, for community, and for growth. We visited another church a couple weeks ago, and after I get done moving my schedule around and getting things a bit more back to normal at work, we are going to start attending and seeing what it is that God is calling us to get involved in. Sometimes we get so caught up in the normal routine of life, that we miss the opportunities right in front of us, and in my case, we get caught up in the chaos of life and don't even realize that it's been two months since I took the time to sit down and actually think!
My heart burns for the people around me, but even with a passion burning as strongly as mine, I still get too busy sometimes, and what is my excuse? I've been in this situation before and looking back on it, it was even in the church. I got caught up in doing so much, that I let the moment pass me by without actually seeing what it was that God was wanting me to do! This actually reminds me of a book I read back in High School called "Paradise Lost." One of the main things I remember about this story of how true paradise was lost was that Satan brought about Chaos. How/Why I remember that I have no clue, but it has stuck with me since then and I find it as true as anything I can think of. Satan truly is trying to create Chaos so that we lose focus, and he's flippin GOOD at it. Not that we aren't following God, but that we lose sight of urgency, we lose sight of passion, but I will tell you that through this season, I've never lost sight of God. It's easy to get discouraged, but God has called me to so much more, and I'll say it till you're sick of hearing it. Do I fill like I'm doing exactly what God has called me to do, not really, but do I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, YES! It's hard, because I don't know or see what the next step is. I pray that if you are in the same situation, that you would sit down and take the time to refocus. I wish I could time a week or so to get my thoughts together, but that ain't happening any time soon, so amidst the chaos, I've got to consciously keep my focus on Christ!
Sara and I have been discussing the way people see community around here, and it's been hard because we don't have the same type of community as we did back in Wilmington or NMB, and we're starting to think it's cultural, and I mean in the church. It's the culture around here to not live in community as members of the church. It's hard to create community, and that's what our next mission is...but I'll stop myself before I get into that topic too much, plus I want to look into community around here a bit more before I start throwing out conclusions I've made. My heart burns for community, and for those of you who did life with us back in Wilmington and NMB, we love you and miss you all! Its encouraging to know you are still there behind us in heart, because I know your hearts personally! God's not done with you, with your church, or with your current situation, he'll see you through it and he has called you to greater things because of who you are and who you live for!
