So...since the last time I was on here we've had over 2 feet of snow, only had one issue with my truck during that time in the casualty of one of my tires being claimed by the cold weather, and now the O button on my keyboard has fallen off...so needless to say, I'm about to start typing without O's and just let you all fill in the blanks. I also thought it may be fun to throw in some random "letter of the day" instead but realized with certain word/letter combos that that could become either very interesting or very offensive although probably more on the funny side.
To be very blunt and honest, this has been one of the most interesting/difficult times of Sara and I's lives in general! Our schedules are not ideal, we've had some moving of finances and losses of jobs, with Sara being pregnant with our first...EMERY LUKE...emotions have been EVERYWHERE, and just general calling in life has been difficult to say the least but for most you'd think we've got it made.
I've realized in the last week or so that my attitude straight up SUCKS some times and my wife gets to hear the most of it, so publicly, I'm sorry about that Sara! I was reading Philippians today during lunch and when I got to ch 2 I think God hit me with about the biggest dose of reality he possibly could. It talks about how your attitude should be that of Christ and then I blindly slammed into the wall in verse 14-16
14) In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, 15) so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. Let your lives shine brightly before them. 16) Hold tightly to the word of life, so that when Christ returns, I will be proud that I did not lose the race and that my work was not useless.
I've been complaining about life, work, people, you name it...not because life sucks that bad, but because I've had a bit of pride festering in my heart because I think...God, after all that we've been through, why aren't you making this easier on us, why aren't you opening new doors, why am I not in full time ministry, what's the next step? And this is where my pride has taken hold and I just this week realized that the little hold that Satan had in my heart was going to make things a whole HECK of a lot worse if I didn't get things right. This is how our situation truly stands, I've got an amazing wife that is about to have my first little boy in whom I WILL NOT disappoint as a father and husband, I've got a job that is giving me the opportunity to move up and quickly might I add, I've got an amazing church that has come around us to support us and also given me an opportunity there to lead the people in our campus to a place of worship during our services that sets the tone in their hearts to receive the message that our Lead Pastor Shannon O'dell has FROM GOD(and I believe that with all my heart). We are moving up to Siloam Springs, but we are committed to the people of BNC (Brand New Church) at the NWA campus and I encourage you to come check it out and get plugged in if you are not already a part of a local body of God's church somewhere. I've decided that no matter where I'm at, God has me there for a reason, not because he's not being fair, but because he is using that to either teach me something or use me to reach others and I need to pursue my circumstances with the Passion and Attitude of that of Christ.
Now what does this look like? NO CLUE honestly, but hopefully if you follow me around from here on, you'll be able to see and I'll right a book on it later! But in all honesty, my attitude has been horrible recently and my prayer is that of Philippians 1:20
For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or I die.
And so I hope that I haven't drawn or pushed anyone away from the call and love of Christ. Me leading worship has brought me to a new place in my spiritual life, and if you need me to pray for you in any way please let me know...I'm taking it personal to pray for everyone that comes to mind!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I'm still alive, made it through the Holidays, and I can breathe now!
Well, once a week all the sudden turned into 2 months ago, and I can honestly say that I can remember sitting down and writing the last blog like it was yesterday. Life has pretty much been a nonstop whirlwind the last two months and that is all thanks to the Holidays. Not that I don't love the holidays, but working in an extremely fast paced retail setting during the holidays will knock anyone out of contact with the real world. Since then, Sara and the baby have grown considerably and we have now heard the heart beat(talk about reality setting in)...we have made the extremely tough decision to find a better home for our little puppy Siqa, which we have done and is absolutely amazing for her(yard with room to run, extremely active owner, and great relationship between us and her new owner so if we really wanted to see her, we could)...and we're looking at buying our own house and new possibilities for churches.
I'm not going to get into other churches right now because my last rant pretty much summed my feelings up, but the one thing that I feel like I am extremely passionate about at this moment is the heart of the church, and MY HEART for that matter. My heart burns for change, for community, and for growth. We visited another church a couple weeks ago, and after I get done moving my schedule around and getting things a bit more back to normal at work, we are going to start attending and seeing what it is that God is calling us to get involved in. Sometimes we get so caught up in the normal routine of life, that we miss the opportunities right in front of us, and in my case, we get caught up in the chaos of life and don't even realize that it's been two months since I took the time to sit down and actually think!
My heart burns for the people around me, but even with a passion burning as strongly as mine, I still get too busy sometimes, and what is my excuse? I've been in this situation before and looking back on it, it was even in the church. I got caught up in doing so much, that I let the moment pass me by without actually seeing what it was that God was wanting me to do! This actually reminds me of a book I read back in High School called "Paradise Lost." One of the main things I remember about this story of how true paradise was lost was that Satan brought about Chaos. How/Why I remember that I have no clue, but it has stuck with me since then and I find it as true as anything I can think of. Satan truly is trying to create Chaos so that we lose focus, and he's flippin GOOD at it. Not that we aren't following God, but that we lose sight of urgency, we lose sight of passion, but I will tell you that through this season, I've never lost sight of God. It's easy to get discouraged, but God has called me to so much more, and I'll say it till you're sick of hearing it. Do I fill like I'm doing exactly what God has called me to do, not really, but do I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, YES! It's hard, because I don't know or see what the next step is. I pray that if you are in the same situation, that you would sit down and take the time to refocus. I wish I could time a week or so to get my thoughts together, but that ain't happening any time soon, so amidst the chaos, I've got to consciously keep my focus on Christ!
Sara and I have been discussing the way people see community around here, and it's been hard because we don't have the same type of community as we did back in Wilmington or NMB, and we're starting to think it's cultural, and I mean in the church. It's the culture around here to not live in community as members of the church. It's hard to create community, and that's what our next mission is...but I'll stop myself before I get into that topic too much, plus I want to look into community around here a bit more before I start throwing out conclusions I've made. My heart burns for community, and for those of you who did life with us back in Wilmington and NMB, we love you and miss you all! Its encouraging to know you are still there behind us in heart, because I know your hearts personally! God's not done with you, with your church, or with your current situation, he'll see you through it and he has called you to greater things because of who you are and who you live for!
I'm not going to get into other churches right now because my last rant pretty much summed my feelings up, but the one thing that I feel like I am extremely passionate about at this moment is the heart of the church, and MY HEART for that matter. My heart burns for change, for community, and for growth. We visited another church a couple weeks ago, and after I get done moving my schedule around and getting things a bit more back to normal at work, we are going to start attending and seeing what it is that God is calling us to get involved in. Sometimes we get so caught up in the normal routine of life, that we miss the opportunities right in front of us, and in my case, we get caught up in the chaos of life and don't even realize that it's been two months since I took the time to sit down and actually think!
My heart burns for the people around me, but even with a passion burning as strongly as mine, I still get too busy sometimes, and what is my excuse? I've been in this situation before and looking back on it, it was even in the church. I got caught up in doing so much, that I let the moment pass me by without actually seeing what it was that God was wanting me to do! This actually reminds me of a book I read back in High School called "Paradise Lost." One of the main things I remember about this story of how true paradise was lost was that Satan brought about Chaos. How/Why I remember that I have no clue, but it has stuck with me since then and I find it as true as anything I can think of. Satan truly is trying to create Chaos so that we lose focus, and he's flippin GOOD at it. Not that we aren't following God, but that we lose sight of urgency, we lose sight of passion, but I will tell you that through this season, I've never lost sight of God. It's easy to get discouraged, but God has called me to so much more, and I'll say it till you're sick of hearing it. Do I fill like I'm doing exactly what God has called me to do, not really, but do I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, YES! It's hard, because I don't know or see what the next step is. I pray that if you are in the same situation, that you would sit down and take the time to refocus. I wish I could time a week or so to get my thoughts together, but that ain't happening any time soon, so amidst the chaos, I've got to consciously keep my focus on Christ!
Sara and I have been discussing the way people see community around here, and it's been hard because we don't have the same type of community as we did back in Wilmington or NMB, and we're starting to think it's cultural, and I mean in the church. It's the culture around here to not live in community as members of the church. It's hard to create community, and that's what our next mission is...but I'll stop myself before I get into that topic too much, plus I want to look into community around here a bit more before I start throwing out conclusions I've made. My heart burns for community, and for those of you who did life with us back in Wilmington and NMB, we love you and miss you all! Its encouraging to know you are still there behind us in heart, because I know your hearts personally! God's not done with you, with your church, or with your current situation, he'll see you through it and he has called you to greater things because of who you are and who you live for!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Urgency is something I'm learning!
Well, my thought of a daily blog has now pretty much become a once a week or so deal..but hey, LIFE HAPPENS!!!
This evening we got plugged in with a great group of people that are seeking after God and trying to figure this thing out that we all call LIFE! The lifegroup was awesome to say the least and as we were driving there, it dawned on me that this was something that we hadn't done before. Since the summer of 2006, I've been a part of the inner workings of every church that we have been a part of either through being on staff or being a "high capacity volunteer," and Sara has been with me the entire time! I realized that this was the first time we had ever went into a small group/lifegroup without being the ones leading it or without knowing someone already...we were finally the ones looking in from the outside. It was definitely a different experience, but was a great time.
Another thing that I realized is how blessed we've been to have been exposed to the life that God is desiring for us to live. I see that we were shown so much over that past two years that I walk away from conversations desiring so much more for people and their relationship with God. There was a moment tonight where I saw a glimpse of the comfort in Christianity that Sara and moved because of back 2 years ago, and it fired me up because I don't want to see complacent Christianity!!! Now you've got to understand that I'm not judging these people because they are trying to do everything they know how to live a more Christian life, but I left feeling like there is so much more and my prayer is that they won't fall into the same comfort that we were in back in 2008. I don't know if you will even understand what I'm trying to say or if you even know what I'm talking about, but there is SO MUCH MORE!!!
Two years ago, we could have walked into any church and just slid right in and done the "Christian" life, but we had a feeling there was something more and when we moved our prayer was "God...put us into the middle of something HUGE!", and that is exactly what He did! Now that we've returned, you've seen some of our recent prayers and this is what we felt like God was telling us to do, follow your heart, and our hearts are here in NWA. So with all that said our major prayer has been and always will be the same, something HUGE, and complacency has no room when it comes to HUGE! I've never seen a move of God that wasn't something HUGE, trust me, when the first thing you see at a church is a Helicopter dropping what they thought was a ton of plastic eggs onto a football field(10,000 eggs to be exact) and actually 10,000 people show up when it was thought that maybe 3-4,000 would come, that's HUGE! God doesn't do little, when God moves its HUGE....even if it seems insignificant or small or just plain backwards like losing a job and having no idea what is next...God is in the business of HUGE so get ready and go with it and see what God is teaching you. Get it yet or do I need to keep saying it? What does this mean? I have no idea, but I do know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that the people around me are given the opportunity to understand what we've been a part of and what it means to be a life-giving church. God has called us all to SOMETHING MORE, and that is HUGE!!! Please don't put our AMAZING GOD in a box and ask Him for only the small things or the quick fixes, ask God to do something HUGE, then get ready and don't just stand there because you might miss it. Get out of the Lazyboy, be on your toes ready to get into the game, and be a part of what God is doing around you! I'm so ready for whatever that may be for us here in NWA, and after an amazing night like tonight, I can hardly sit still I'm so jacked up!...do you sense some urgency?
Ok...Done with my rant or randomness or whatever that was, goodnight all, I'm exhausted!
This evening we got plugged in with a great group of people that are seeking after God and trying to figure this thing out that we all call LIFE! The lifegroup was awesome to say the least and as we were driving there, it dawned on me that this was something that we hadn't done before. Since the summer of 2006, I've been a part of the inner workings of every church that we have been a part of either through being on staff or being a "high capacity volunteer," and Sara has been with me the entire time! I realized that this was the first time we had ever went into a small group/lifegroup without being the ones leading it or without knowing someone already...we were finally the ones looking in from the outside. It was definitely a different experience, but was a great time.
Another thing that I realized is how blessed we've been to have been exposed to the life that God is desiring for us to live. I see that we were shown so much over that past two years that I walk away from conversations desiring so much more for people and their relationship with God. There was a moment tonight where I saw a glimpse of the comfort in Christianity that Sara and moved because of back 2 years ago, and it fired me up because I don't want to see complacent Christianity!!! Now you've got to understand that I'm not judging these people because they are trying to do everything they know how to live a more Christian life, but I left feeling like there is so much more and my prayer is that they won't fall into the same comfort that we were in back in 2008. I don't know if you will even understand what I'm trying to say or if you even know what I'm talking about, but there is SO MUCH MORE!!!
Two years ago, we could have walked into any church and just slid right in and done the "Christian" life, but we had a feeling there was something more and when we moved our prayer was "God...put us into the middle of something HUGE!", and that is exactly what He did! Now that we've returned, you've seen some of our recent prayers and this is what we felt like God was telling us to do, follow your heart, and our hearts are here in NWA. So with all that said our major prayer has been and always will be the same, something HUGE, and complacency has no room when it comes to HUGE! I've never seen a move of God that wasn't something HUGE, trust me, when the first thing you see at a church is a Helicopter dropping what they thought was a ton of plastic eggs onto a football field(10,000 eggs to be exact) and actually 10,000 people show up when it was thought that maybe 3-4,000 would come, that's HUGE! God doesn't do little, when God moves its HUGE....even if it seems insignificant or small or just plain backwards like losing a job and having no idea what is next...God is in the business of HUGE so get ready and go with it and see what God is teaching you. Get it yet or do I need to keep saying it? What does this mean? I have no idea, but I do know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that the people around me are given the opportunity to understand what we've been a part of and what it means to be a life-giving church. God has called us all to SOMETHING MORE, and that is HUGE!!! Please don't put our AMAZING GOD in a box and ask Him for only the small things or the quick fixes, ask God to do something HUGE, then get ready and don't just stand there because you might miss it. Get out of the Lazyboy, be on your toes ready to get into the game, and be a part of what God is doing around you! I'm so ready for whatever that may be for us here in NWA, and after an amazing night like tonight, I can hardly sit still I'm so jacked up!...do you sense some urgency?
Ok...Done with my rant or randomness or whatever that was, goodnight all, I'm exhausted!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Life Just Got Interesting!
Our prayers as of late have been:
-Give me a job
-Let Sara start moving towards not having to work so much so that she can focus on her writing and other passions
-Let us find a Life-Giving Church
-Show us why we are here, why we moved back
-Grow us closer together
-Put us in a position to lead others/inspire others
Now, while we are waiting on some of our prayers to still be answered, we have been given a partial glimpse to some of the answers.
-Got a job as an Assistant Manager In Training at the Buckle.(Full-time, benefits, I'd say answered prayer)
-Me getting a job opens it up for Sara to start pulling out of some of the temporary work she has picked up when we moved.
-After next week Sara will no longer be working 65 hrs a week!!! PRAISE GOD
-Started attending Keypoint Church
-Pastor Casey has an amazing heart for the people of this area
-Looking forward to getting plugged into their ministry to NWA and see what God has in store for us through Keypoint
-Sara went to their recent women's SPA NIGHT with Kimberly and had a great time, not to mention a free Back Massage
-Oh yeah, and the morning of the day I got my job at the Buckle, we found out that Sara is Pregnant
-WAIT.......What? God, really? OK, we are stoked!
SO...within one week, I got a job, Sara gets to quit a job, we got to hang out with the pastor of an amazing church, and we found out that we are going to have a little one running around here come May or June 2011...WOW...I've been a bit busy so its been a week or so for the blog, but I asked for God to do some big things and guess what, HE DID! Don't ask for it unless you want him to show up! God is still in the process of doing something cool...and I don't think He's done!
I'm absolutely JACKED UP about what's going on right now, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us as we get more invested into Keypoint Church, more invested into NWA, and prep for a little one!
Love you all, read the first couple chapters of Hebrews and see what God shows you. Comment below with what He shows you and maybe it could help someone else or even me! It rocked me pretty good and I'll share more on that hopefully tomorrow!
-Give me a job
-Let Sara start moving towards not having to work so much so that she can focus on her writing and other passions
-Let us find a Life-Giving Church
-Show us why we are here, why we moved back
-Grow us closer together
-Put us in a position to lead others/inspire others
Now, while we are waiting on some of our prayers to still be answered, we have been given a partial glimpse to some of the answers.
-Got a job as an Assistant Manager In Training at the Buckle.(Full-time, benefits, I'd say answered prayer)
-Me getting a job opens it up for Sara to start pulling out of some of the temporary work she has picked up when we moved.
-After next week Sara will no longer be working 65 hrs a week!!! PRAISE GOD
-Started attending Keypoint Church
-Pastor Casey has an amazing heart for the people of this area
-Looking forward to getting plugged into their ministry to NWA and see what God has in store for us through Keypoint
-Sara went to their recent women's SPA NIGHT with Kimberly and had a great time, not to mention a free Back Massage
-Oh yeah, and the morning of the day I got my job at the Buckle, we found out that Sara is Pregnant
-WAIT.......What? God, really? OK, we are stoked!
SO...within one week, I got a job, Sara gets to quit a job, we got to hang out with the pastor of an amazing church, and we found out that we are going to have a little one running around here come May or June 2011...WOW...I've been a bit busy so its been a week or so for the blog, but I asked for God to do some big things and guess what, HE DID! Don't ask for it unless you want him to show up! God is still in the process of doing something cool...and I don't think He's done!
I'm absolutely JACKED UP about what's going on right now, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us as we get more invested into Keypoint Church, more invested into NWA, and prep for a little one!
Love you all, read the first couple chapters of Hebrews and see what God shows you. Comment below with what He shows you and maybe it could help someone else or even me! It rocked me pretty good and I'll share more on that hopefully tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Wake UP!
This morning wasn't unlike any other morning, I wake up to light creeping into the window and a small high pitch whimper coming from one of the back bedrooms(which by the way, I get to finish painting as soon as I get done with this)! Every morning our little Sib pup Siqa wakes us up to tell us that she is ready to go outside and do her business! I put her back in her kennel and crawl back into bed hoping that the alarm is a couple hours from going off and just as I'm finally getting settle back in and half asleep...the alarm goes off and so does Siqa! Now she knows its time for breakfast...and sadly enough if one beggar isn't bad enough, I've got our bipolar cat Nehlah screaming in the other ear by the time I get into the kitchen!
Now, why am I talking about this...well, because I started out typing this with a quite boring teaching type blog that I thought I wouldn't even want to read no matter how Godly it is! So for your enjoyment, there you go...but I do have a tie in here...just hold with me. The dog and cat wake up every morning knowing who to look to for what they need and exactly how to get it(in our case whimpering and meowing(LOUDLY I might add)...Now this isn't some amazing revelation, but I realized that if I'm not willing to live my life with that type of faith in God, then I'm relying on myself and myself alone! God may be a part of it somewhere, but that's not what he wants. God wants me to wake up and be crying out to Him daily, asking him for what I need, from the time I open my eyes, its all His!
I decided to study the sermon from this past weekend that Pastor Casey gave over at Keypoint Church and the series is called Confidence. Now, as always, I took my own little spin on this one after studying further but if you want to get messed up by scripture, go read Hebrews 10:19-39 and pay special attention when it gets good in verse 26, not to say it isn't all good! With all that has been going on in my crazy head lately, that scripture just blasted me with a bit of reality that what I'm doing is right! I need to refocus every bit of me and not forget what it was like when my life was forever changed on Dec. 20th, 2000 on a ski trip in Colorado. So, take some time, read it and see what it is that God may be wanting to tell you through that scripture!
Now, why am I talking about this...well, because I started out typing this with a quite boring teaching type blog that I thought I wouldn't even want to read no matter how Godly it is! So for your enjoyment, there you go...but I do have a tie in here...just hold with me. The dog and cat wake up every morning knowing who to look to for what they need and exactly how to get it(in our case whimpering and meowing(LOUDLY I might add)...Now this isn't some amazing revelation, but I realized that if I'm not willing to live my life with that type of faith in God, then I'm relying on myself and myself alone! God may be a part of it somewhere, but that's not what he wants. God wants me to wake up and be crying out to Him daily, asking him for what I need, from the time I open my eyes, its all His!
I decided to study the sermon from this past weekend that Pastor Casey gave over at Keypoint Church and the series is called Confidence. Now, as always, I took my own little spin on this one after studying further but if you want to get messed up by scripture, go read Hebrews 10:19-39 and pay special attention when it gets good in verse 26, not to say it isn't all good! With all that has been going on in my crazy head lately, that scripture just blasted me with a bit of reality that what I'm doing is right! I need to refocus every bit of me and not forget what it was like when my life was forever changed on Dec. 20th, 2000 on a ski trip in Colorado. So, take some time, read it and see what it is that God may be wanting to tell you through that scripture!
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