This may sting a little for some but its about to Drive me NUTS!!!

Can I get a show of hands of the people that were taught how to "lead people to christ" based on a folded piece of paper that ended up being a cross after unfolding it that is known as a Tract. If you can't see, my hand is raised...but honestly, I've never been a big fan of it from the get go but it does give you somewhere to start I guess. Now please, for those of you that feel like I just slammed my foot down on your toes, give me a second to explain. I do agree that at one point things like that worked for some but to be taught how to "share your faith" based on that was pretty surface level and I've always tried to be a little bit deeper of a thinker than most around me, not to mention analytical about everything!!! And no, I'm not being arrogant because it gets me in trouble a lot because I OVER THINK things and tent to shove my foot down my throat because of it! So here goes what spurred this thought.

I had an experience in the past couple of weeks that has really frustrated me and literally broken my heart and pissed me off all at the same time. For a desired lack of detail, a friend I've been talking with lately shared their beliefs on life and their lack of a belief in God...and trust me, he could probably argue his points with the best of them, but most of his points were based off of the attempts of Christians to "Convert him" as he put it! These attempts were at best the semi-educated attempt of sharing ones faith based on their lack of understanding and "Tract" style of information they had memorized in bible school back when they were in Discipleship Training. To make it simple, he had never been approached through an actual relationship and from an intellectual standpoint. He was given our surface level attempt at salvation which involved an introduction of who they were(no relationship), a statement of what they believed, and then a choice: condemnation or salvation! For an individual that has been through a lot in their life and has made it pretty much on their own in this world, they need a little more of a showing of who God is and what He is about than a "Tract."

Now when I say I'm a little pissed, its not at the fact that people were sharing their faith, but that one, as leaders, their was a failure somewhere to communicate the true passion and life of Christ, and two, we as Christians think that we can save someone on our own based on knowledge that we were given and we've never been pushed to truly understand what and why we believe what we believe (And again, when I say Pissed off, I really mean -has made me Extremely Passionate about, so please don't pick at my choice in words, my wife is the english major, not me!!!). I'm not angry with individuals, I'm not frustrated with God, I'm upset about the fact that we failed at some point to give true understanding to the people that we are leading and discipling as Christ followers. To tell someone that they are going to hell if they don't believe what you believe is extremely simple and not very educated, but it is the truth that we've watered down to make it a bit-sized chunk for people to chew on, but what happens when you are hit back with an intelligent question or comment that is based on experience? There was no fold on that cross that came open that told you how to respond to someone that has been through some struggles in life and as Leader I BEG YOU to evaluate if you are teaching those under you to be able to go off of the Tract and be real with someone. Because trust me, it really throws you for a loop when someone gets off the Tract before you even start unfolding the thing! We have ZERO ability to save someone on our own and I truly believe that it is only through a relationship that you will be able to reach others, not a Tract...I'm not trying to SAVE my friend, I'm trying to be Christ to my friend so he can see what being a "Christian" means so that God can get a hold of him. I'll let scripture speak for itself:

Titus 3:3 Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled by others and became slaves to many wicked desires and evil pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy. We hated others, and they hated us. 4 But then God our Savior showed us HIS kindness and love. 5 HE saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of HIS mercy. HE washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. 6 HE generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. 7 HE declared us not guilty because of his great kindness. And now we know that we will inherit eternal life.

GOD saves, it says HE over and over, not me, not you, not our pastor, but HE!!! We are called to be Christ to the world, not condemn the world, because that is God's power and his power alone! Psalm 75:7, James 4:12

I'm sorry if this comes across harsh, but seriously, there are people that would go to Hell right now if things were to end today and all they've ever been given is the watered down, bible school version of God in a "Tract!!!" Can we be real, can we be authentic, can we please be effective, and God, PLEASE let us be as close to you as possible so that people don't need a watered down version but they desire to know the WHOLE story of who you are!!!

I'm still alive, made it through the Holidays, and I can breathe now!

Well, once a week all the sudden turned into 2 months ago, and I can honestly say that I can remember sitting down and writing the last blog like it was yesterday. Life has pretty much been a nonstop whirlwind the last two months and that is all thanks to the Holidays. Not that I don't love the holidays, but working in an extremely fast paced retail setting during the holidays will knock anyone out of contact with the real world. Since then, Sara and the baby have grown considerably and we have now heard the heart beat(talk about reality setting in)...we have made the extremely tough decision to find a better home for our little puppy Siqa, which we have done and is absolutely amazing for her(yard with room to run, extremely active owner, and great relationship between us and her new owner so if we really wanted to see her, we could)...and we're looking at buying our own house and new possibilities for churches.

I'm not going to get into other churches right now because my last rant pretty much summed my feelings up, but the one thing that I feel like I am extremely passionate about at this moment is the heart of the church, and MY HEART for that matter. My heart burns for change, for community, and for growth. We visited another church a couple weeks ago, and after I get done moving my schedule around and getting things a bit more back to normal at work, we are going to start attending and seeing what it is that God is calling us to get involved in. Sometimes we get so caught up in the normal routine of life, that we miss the opportunities right in front of us, and in my case, we get caught up in the chaos of life and don't even realize that it's been two months since I took the time to sit down and actually think!

My heart burns for the people around me, but even with a passion burning as strongly as mine, I still get too busy sometimes, and what is my excuse? I've been in this situation before and looking back on it, it was even in the church. I got caught up in doing so much, that I let the moment pass me by without actually seeing what it was that God was wanting me to do! This actually reminds me of a book I read back in High School called "Paradise Lost." One of the main things I remember about this story of how true paradise was lost was that Satan brought about Chaos. How/Why I remember that I have no clue, but it has stuck with me since then and I find it as true as anything I can think of. Satan truly is trying to create Chaos so that we lose focus, and he's flippin GOOD at it. Not that we aren't following God, but that we lose sight of urgency, we lose sight of passion, but I will tell you that through this season, I've never lost sight of God. It's easy to get discouraged, but God has called me to so much more, and I'll say it till you're sick of hearing it. Do I fill like I'm doing exactly what God has called me to do, not really, but do I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, YES! It's hard, because I don't know or see what the next step is. I pray that if you are in the same situation, that you would sit down and take the time to refocus. I wish I could time a week or so to get my thoughts together, but that ain't happening any time soon, so amidst the chaos, I've got to consciously keep my focus on Christ!

Sara and I have been discussing the way people see community around here, and it's been hard because we don't have the same type of community as we did back in Wilmington or NMB, and we're starting to think it's cultural, and I mean in the church. It's the culture around here to not live in community as members of the church. It's hard to create community, and that's what our next mission is...but I'll stop myself before I get into that topic too much, plus I want to look into community around here a bit more before I start throwing out conclusions I've made. My heart burns for community, and for those of you who did life with us back in Wilmington and NMB, we love you and miss you all! Its encouraging to know you are still there behind us in heart, because I know your hearts personally! God's not done with you, with your church, or with your current situation, he'll see you through it and he has called you to greater things because of who you are and who you live for!

Urgency is something I'm learning!

Well, my thought of a daily blog has now pretty much become a once a week or so deal..but hey, LIFE HAPPENS!!!

This evening we got plugged in with a great group of people that are seeking after God and trying to figure this thing out that we all call LIFE! The lifegroup was awesome to say the least and as we were driving there, it dawned on me that this was something that we hadn't done before. Since the summer of 2006, I've been a part of the inner workings of every church that we have been a part of either through being on staff or being a "high capacity volunteer," and Sara has been with me the entire time! I realized that this was the first time we had ever went into a small group/lifegroup without being the ones leading it or without knowing someone already...we were finally the ones looking in from the outside. It was definitely a different experience, but was a great time.

Another thing that I realized is how blessed we've been to have been exposed to the life that God is desiring for us to live. I see that we were shown so much over that past two years that I walk away from conversations desiring so much more for people and their relationship with God. There was a moment tonight where I saw a glimpse of the comfort in Christianity that Sara and moved because of back 2 years ago, and it fired me up because I don't want to see complacent Christianity!!! Now you've got to understand that I'm not judging these people because they are trying to do everything they know how to live a more Christian life, but I left feeling like there is so much more and my prayer is that they won't fall into the same comfort that we were in back in 2008. I don't know if you will even understand what I'm trying to say or if you even know what I'm talking about, but there is SO MUCH MORE!!!

Two years ago, we could have walked into any church and just slid right in and done the "Christian" life, but we had a feeling there was something more and when we moved our prayer was "God...put us into the middle of something HUGE!", and that is exactly what He did! Now that we've returned, you've seen some of our recent prayers and this is what we felt like God was telling us to do, follow your heart, and our hearts are here in NWA. So with all that said our major prayer has been and always will be the same, something HUGE, and complacency has no room when it comes to HUGE! I've never seen a move of God that wasn't something HUGE, trust me, when the first thing you see at a church is a Helicopter dropping what they thought was a ton of plastic eggs onto a football field(10,000 eggs to be exact) and actually 10,000 people show up when it was thought that maybe 3-4,000 would come, that's HUGE! God doesn't do little, when God moves its HUGE....even if it seems insignificant or small or just plain backwards like losing a job and having no idea what is next...God is in the business of HUGE so get ready and go with it and see what God is teaching you. Get it yet or do I need to keep saying it? What does this mean? I have no idea, but I do know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that the people around me are given the opportunity to understand what we've been a part of and what it means to be a life-giving church. God has called us all to SOMETHING MORE, and that is HUGE!!! Please don't put our AMAZING GOD in a box and ask Him for only the small things or the quick fixes, ask God to do something HUGE, then get ready and don't just stand there because you might miss it. Get out of the Lazyboy, be on your toes ready to get into the game, and be a part of what God is doing around you! I'm so ready for whatever that may be for us here in NWA, and after an amazing night like tonight, I can hardly sit still I'm so jacked up!...do you sense some urgency?

Ok...Done with my rant or randomness or whatever that was, goodnight all, I'm exhausted!

Something's Up!!!

So...I think today may be the day that will go down as one of the most vital days of my life. God has been absolutely tearing my head and my heart up for the past several weeks and the only thing that I've got to show for it is confusion. Sara and I just moved back to NWA about 5 weeks ago and I can honestly say that this has been HARD! Not that we weren't supposed to move back, because I'm sure of that, but every other question you can think of has been racing through my head...one because I feel like we were called back to this area for a HUGE reason, and two, I haven't found a job yet which means I'm just sitting around filling out applications, sending off resumes and pretty much doing nothing else other than house work while my wife is working her tail off until I can find something. As I sit here and type I'm reminded of someone I'm supposed to send my resume to...so, now that that's done, I can continue!

Well, to keep from boring you with the details, here is the short of it...I've been challenged here recently to really seek after God, not just be a Christian, but pursue God with all I've got. I've toyed with the thought and I think God is disappointed with my effort so far, but honestly, it scares me...I think that may be healthy. I've been reading and watching videos of great leaders here recently that has done nothing but challenge me to stop being scared of what God may be able to do in me, and start seeking after God and do whatever he lays on my heart. This freaks me out because its what you call becoming completely vulnerable and open. Now to some, you may ask me what I'm really talking about because you know me, but this is real, raw, faith...not just something you accomplish by going to church on Sunday. I recently heard someone challenge Christians by saying that if you are not going to the bible to seek after God, but you have other intentions...such as only going to the bible for answers or for something to teach on, then you don't get it. This is a key in my life that has been tearing me up since I heard it. I've always had a reason to pick up the bible, but rather than having something I'm needing to get out of it, I realized that I don't spend time in God's word enough just to be with God and let HIM SPEAK to me. This week, I'm going to dive into the love of God through His word, and rather than looking for something to teach, needing an answer, or asking for something, I just want to learn and listen to His guidance. God's word is vital, but how can I stand behind some of the things I tell people, if I'm not willing to let God leading me through His word. So...here we go, if you want to join, call me or shoot me a message. This may even make no sense to you and if not, that's cool...but God has something in store for me and I'm jacked up about it, but also freaked out at what He may ask me to do...but you know, if I don't listen, then all of this is pointless and I'm living in and of myself.

I'm going to be posting as close to daily as I can during this process and who knows what will come of it. I don't have a 30 day plan, or a reading plan, I don't have a date I'm shooting for or anything like that. Only expectation I have is to have my world rocked and become what God is calling me to be RIGHT NOW! So no more procrastination of Faith, it's on. Pray for me and as I said, join me if you want...I'll be praying for you all! God's about to rock my world and I would love to have you along with me for this journey but only if God is calling you to it!

I'll let you know tonight or tomorrow what God has revealed to me as my first steps in this process for me. All I can say is SEEK GOD, then do whatever it takes to do what he says!

True Creativity

So, I added an album of pictures just to the right of the screen that has these pictures of the flowers that Sara planted this past spring that are in full bloom now! It brings me no greater joy than to see my wife take joy in her hobbies, check out her blog to truly see what I mean because she decided this past year that she was going to start a garden...little to my knowledge she was actually dreaming up a small farm in our backyard! But hey, last night was by far the best pepper I've ever had, not to mention the fresh green beans, broccoli, squash, and soon to be much more!

Most of the time when Sara says she has something in her mind that she wants to do, I have to realize that she already has her heart set on it and her mind working on how to do it, like with her sewing, her photography, etc...so, I think my wife is just CREATIVE and needs outlets for that...and so this is why we have an amazing camera, to take the amazing pictures of her flowers that were just kind of a side thought to her garden! Then you've got her bags that she's made that are being sold at the SURF HOUSE in Carolina Beach, NC that just blows my mind. She also decided that she was going to teach herself photoshop...which she uses over at Ribbet Salon & Shop for Kids over in Wilmington, NC...you should check out the graphics, some of which are her handiwork! It blows my mind to realize how amazing my wife is, and it took me encouraging her to take pictures this morning of her flowers to remind myself of that!

God has an amazing way of revealing things to us through his creation, and I think this is a big reason why my wife is so Creative, because she can see God work in and through a lot of her creativity that most don't recognize! For most of us we see flowers, but God created them, check some of these pics out and just look at the creativity that went into making each one different. I have to slow down sometimes and take notes from my wife when it comes to creativity, because she draws from the master of creativity...GOD, and maybe I should look into being a bit more creative!

I can't wait to spend this evening on the beach with my wife, friends, and students from Barefoot Students. I'm truly blessed and I get to enjoy God's creativity daily...we just have to open our eyes and look for it! Plus I get to SURF!

Heading HOME from Home!!!!

Two weeks later, and we are now less than 20 hrs from getting in the car again and heading back to Wilmington. It had been nearly 10 months since I had been back to what I've always called HOME, and I've learn a ton in my two weeks back. When we moved, we left because the only thing holding us here was comfort. Now, a year after making the decision to move, we realize the only thing we have here is Family. We do miss the area, the landscape, family and friends, but our calling is so much greater and we are so ready to get back. As I've said to some people here, this is what I called home for 22 years, and now I feel like I've been completely disconnected from our world for 2 weeks and I'm HOME! Does that mean home for me has changed...I don't know, but our world is definitely not in Arkansas any more...our family is, but what God has for us is in the Carolina's. We have fallen in love with the people, the church and the area, and now we are just waiting to see what it is that God is calling us to do! We followed faithfully in the move, we've grown, learned, and been ministered in ways we would have never gotten here in Arkansas. So, as we head back tomorrow morning, we look forward to it in ways we never realized. Driving back I remember having the thought of "what if we don't want to go back?" But that is not even part of my thinking right now. My heart has been shifted in ways I didn't realize and I'm so absolutely pumped to get back and lead people to Christ through all that I am and do! God has been preparing us for something great in the most wild roller coaster I've ever been on. We are looking for our place in ministry, we are trying to get out of debt, we are looking to lead people around us in a whole new way, and we are working on our relationships with God and each other so that there is nothing to get in the way of God and His hand on our lives. I was told once, Just follow God and PRAY that you don't get in His way! I'm afraid that getting in His way may be pretty painful, so I'm trying to follow Him and looking forward to having NO CLUE in where that may lead us! God has done unbelievable things in our lives through the last year, and now looking back on our 2 week visit back Home, we are leaving for HOME with a new passion and perspective, NOT TO MENTION ANTICIPATION!!!